


Oh God It's You- Roceit

by AsterAspera, never90mind



Series: Sanders Sides College AU (same timeline, different perspectives) [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Disaster Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Gay Disaster Deceit | Janus Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Oblivious Deceit | Janus Sanders, Pining Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29562141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsterAspera/pseuds/AsterAspera, https://archiveofourown.org/users/never90mind/pseuds/never90mind
Summary: roman is very gay and janus is very oblivious. idiots to lovers. that will be all.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides College AU (same timeline, different perspectives) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192841
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	1. Remus' Birthday

Janus presses a glass of something alcoholic into Logan's hands, because he will never have fun otherwise and then heads over to Roman to say hi. A whole two seconds later he looks over his shoulder to see if Logan is following and finds him missing.

He sighs, he's sure his friend can handle himself. He side steps some drunk party goers to get to Roman.

"Hey Jan!" Roman grins broadly, pulling Janus into a strong hug- you learn from the best when you're friends with Patton- "How are you?" he asks. He isn't drunk yet, but with a cliché red solo cup in hand, he is certainly intending to be that way soon. He takes a big sip and pours a cup of whatever alcohol it is for Janus. "You want some?"

Janus smiles and wishes the hug had gone on a bit longer. He shakes his head. "No thank you, darling, I don't drink," he says. "I don't need it to have fun," he explains, because people always feel the need to ask why he doesn't and he doesn't need to get into that in the middle of a party.

He wonders how much Roman is intent on drinking tonight. Judging by his enthusiasm, he isn't going to stop soon.

Roman shrugs and sips from the other cup too, trying to hide his insistent blush from the pet name. "Fair enough, more for me then," he grins again, beaming at Janus like he's his world, and laughs lightly. "If you're so good at having fun then, what do you wanna do?" There's a few games going on, some people dancing, and some people (including the introverts of their friend group) are just sitting on the couches and chairs, a few of them already tipsy.

Janus casts a look around the room, wondering if they should join their friends. But Remus and Patton are nowhere to be found and Virgil and Logan look like they'd rather not be disturbed. 

"Join me for a dance, my lord?" Janus asks with mock bow. The music is not anything he would pick out, more Remus's taste, dulled down a bit for the masses. But he's willing to stomach anything if it means Roman will dance with him.

"Certainly," Roman grins still, a confident laugh following the statement. He downs the rest of both cups in a matter of seconds and looks up at Janus with a red face. Is it the heat, the alcohol, or how hot Janus is at all times? Who knows. Either way, Roman happily pulls Janus close to him, before beginning to dance like a hooligan.

It's barely been half a minute, so the alcohol hasn't fully taken hold yet. No, this is just how Roman is- a confident idiot, albeit a rather lovely one. Sometimes Janus wonders why he likes him.

Janus goes along in the dance, a little more subdued than Roman. He's not the type of person to go all out when there are other people around. 

They press close to each other as they dance, a combination of the lack of space in the admittedly small room, and the attraction they feel for each other. Janus takes Roman's hand and turns him in a spin.

"You're gorgeous," he smiles, lopsided but still confident. Their faces are almost touching as Roman holds Janus' waist close against his own.

A little later into the night, along with quite a lot more drinks for Roman, they're dancing again; the games and talking lost their appeal. Roman dips Janus theatrically with a red-faced grin, and shamelessly tells him: "I really want to kiss you."

Janus blushes and abruptly wishes he did drink, because this would probably be a lot less awkward if he was drunk. If it was anyone else, he could have brushed it off, acted casual but this was Roman. Janus had wanted to kiss him for longer than he wanted to admit.

He steps away from Roman, gives him a forced smile. "That's nice dear, how about you get back to me on that when you're sober?" He says, trying not to sound as strangled as he feels.

"Why though!?" he groans, standing Janus upright. "I wanna kiss you now," he huffs, sounding like a toddler with slurred speech. His thoughts are blurry and his tongue is heavy, but Janus is right in front of him.

And holy shit, Janus is gorgeous. Roman can't stop staring at his lips, or the longing that's really always there, but shows up the strongest when he's drunk. "You're so pretty!" he whines again, his words sounding a little messy to even himself.

Janus fights with himself, because he wants nothing more than to kiss Roman senseless. But that wouldn't be fair, not when Roman looks like he's one more drink away from just tipping over. 

"Because I don't want you to do anything you will regret," Janus says gently, because Janus is not fooling himself. There's no way Roman means anything by it anything more than that, he's just drunk, that's all it is. It wouldn't be fair of him to take advantage of his friends state.

"Promise me you tell me when I'm sober then?" Roman huffs, plopping onto a couch and pulling Janus down to join him. Even when he's this far gone, he knows that no means no.

However, he also knows that kissing Janus would be really nice, and maybe worth waiting for.


	2. Swimming Pool

Janus has to admit, when Patton suggested swimming as a nice bonding activity or whatever, he wasn't too thrilled. It wasn't that he had anything against swimming, it was more so the fact that he would have to hang out with a shirtless Roman all day. He isn't sure how well his heart can handle that. 

He wades into the pool, over to where Remus is apparently trying to drown Roman and Patton is looking on in slight exasperation. He watches Logan sit down next to Virgil and sighs. They're all oblivious messes, aren't they?

Roman spends a lot of time hitting on Janus, and just plain hitting Remus while he continues to make every romantic comment into something sadistic or suggestive. He touches Janus a lot too, arms around shoulders, high fives, feet colliding with legs under the water. He's an attention seeker, he can't help it!

Although, he's specifically an attention seeker for Janus.

At one point, Virgil and Logan re-enter their bubble of consciousness, Virgil on Logan's back, and Roman gets an idea.  
"Janus! Get on my back!" he grins, and the war he's about to start totally isn't an excuse to have Janus' skin pressed against his own.

Janus rolls his eyes but can't suppress a smile. He doesn't exactly mind it, not when he can hold Roman so close without it being weird. He tries not to think too much about how much of his bare skin is pressed against Roman's back, or how his legs wrap firmly around his middle.

"Come on, my brave knight, let's win this fight," he says grandly, because if there's going to be a battle, he sure as hell is not going to lose. Patton splashes some water on him from where he has apparently joined forces with Remus and Janus happily retaliates. 

Roman doesn't miss Patton's blush or Remus' grin, but he says nothing. Instead, he ironically smiles to himself about how oblivious all of his friends are, and continues trying to not get waterboarded by any of them.

After the calm and the storm came a period of calm again, and the group found themselves sitting in a much shallower end of the pool and listening to Patton talk about... Something. Roman wasn't listening, and was instead writing a lot of romantic poetry for Janus in his head- he'd have to remember it to write it down later. He was sat shoulder to shoulder with Janus too, which did not help with his distraction.

Although by the looks of it, Janus wasn't listening to Patton much either.


	3. Attempted Flirting

Roman sits down next to Janus on the large sofa, their sides touching from shoulder to knee despite the excessive room. "Hey," he grins jovially, smiling down at Janus with the utmost admiration.

This was only one of many attempts to flirt with Janus, and yet he'd somehow not picked up the hint that Roman is Very Very Into Him.

"Hi?" Janus says as he looks up from his phone. He wonders what Roman wants from him and why he feels the need to nearly clamber into his lap for it. 

"Do you want something or are you just here to annoy me?" He covers up his thinly veiled gay panic with annoyance, because that's apparently how he deals with his feelings.

He doesn't register the way Roman's face falls as he turns back to his phone, intent on ignoring the overwhelming urge to kiss him.

* * *

Roman takes it a little (which here means: a lot) further with his next try, seeing as his crush is so stupidly oblivious.

They're at Janus and Remus' shared student house, the other two residents being out for the day. Patton and Remus are in the other room, probably being disastrously gay, leaving Roman and Janus alone.

As Janus stares pensively out of the tall window, Roman comes up behind him, his love language of touch coming into full play. He hugs Janus' waist close from behind, laying his head on his shoulder when the shorter of them doesn't move away.

"You're nice," he smiles, quiet and simple. Janus isn't as dramatic and loud as Roman, he's noticed, and so he's been trying for a calmer, subtler approach.

However, if Janus continues to be any more oblivious, Roman is considering taking him to the Eiffel tower, covering it in roses, and proposing to him, if only to get the point across.

Janus laces a hand through Roman's and rests his cheek against his head. He has noticed Roman loves giving people hugs and he's not going to complain about it. Not if it means he can have this. He sighs happily. "So are you," he murmurs, and the words feel so much more loaded than they should.

* * *

Janus knocks on Roman's door, a box full of cinnamon rolls he baked at midnight clutched to his chest. Impulse baking instead of actually addressing his feelings for Roman is probably not the best way to go about it, but at least he has something sweet to give him.

He smiles when Roman opens the door and holds up the box. "I brought food," he says, because he shows his love with baked goods.

"They look gorgeous, not unlike yourself," Roman smiles, inviting him inside.

Janus doesn't overlook the hand on his waist as he's guided inside, and Roman doesn't overlook the delicate blush on Janus' cheeks as the scents of syrup and cinnamon fill the dorm.

* * *

Janus spends way too long in front of the mirror for what is supposed to be just a casual evening with Roman. Remus teases him the whole time about his obvious crush and Janus doesn't bother bringing up Patton.

He adjusts his coat for the third time as he steps out of the house, reminding himself not to get his hopes up. Roman thinks this just an outing with a friend and Janus should treat it as such.

Roman does not think this is just an outing with a friend. He thinks this is an outing with his oblivious crush and he will scream if Janus doesn't get it by now.

He's waiting outside for Janus like the gentleman he is, greeting him by placing his hands on his waist and telling him, "You look stunning tonight, my angel." This statement is accompanied by a dazzling smile that's shining brighter than all the stars as Roman places a single red rose, the symbol of love and romance, into Janus' chest pocket.

They're going to an Italian restaurant. Just the two of them. At night. There are roses and compliments and touches (with consent) and Janus better catch on or Roman will wed him on the spot and that is a threat.

He'll wed him either way to be honest.


	4. Friend Hugs

Roman comes home from the date/outing at around half past eleven at night. He crashes on the couch next to Patton with a sigh.

"So, how was it?" he prompts.

"It was brilliant in one way," Roman begins. "That way being that he's absolutely gorgeous, but he's so oblivious!" he rants, making wild gestures with his hands to demonstrate some sort of point.

"I've told him to his face that he's attractive in several different ways, I got him roses, I took him out to dinner for heaven's sake! How does he not realise I like him?" he looks at Patton with a mixture of exasperated and dejected written on his face.

There's a pause, and then Roman pipes up, quieter this time. "Is this because he doesn't like me back?"

"You don't know that, maybe he just thinks you're like that with everyone," Patton says, putting away the vest he's altering to give Roman his full attention. "But I doubt he doesn't like you, you should see the way he stares at you when your back is turned."

He wraps a comforting arm around Roman's shoulder. "He's probably just _really_ oblivious."

Roman snuggles up to Patton gratefully, and lets the point sink in. He looks at the pair of them, all curled up together, and realises. Oh shoot, he is like this with everyone. "Maybe I'm a bit of an idiot too, huh. How should I tell him then? If taking him on a literal date didn't work?"

Patton shrugs. "Maybe just straight up tell him you have romantic feelings for him? I don't think there's any way he can misunderstand that."

"And you're not an idiot, don't say that about yourself," he reprimands, because his friends need to learn to be nice to themselves.

"Okay then," Roman concedes, before tiredly curling closer and putting on Disney Plus. "Cuddles and movie?" he suggests, and who is Patton to say no.


	5. Oblivious Idiots

"Friendship is a two-way ordeal, you know," Janus says once he's done giving Logan advice.

"You need to listen to my romantic problems now," he smiles. "Only if you want to, of course."

Logan smiles at him. "Of course I'll listen. So what are your grievances with Roman? From the way you two act around each other, I would have expected you two to have started dating months ago."

Janus groans. "He's like that with everyone, he doesn't even notice I like him in a romantic sense."

"Janus. I think he likes you quite a bit. He's been taking you on dates and calling you flirty nicknames for literal months now. I'm no expert on love, and even I can tell that he's into you," Logan states bluntly, looking up at his friend from his horizontal position on the couch.

"I don't know," Janus says, "Those weren't dates, at least I don't think so." Did normal people take their friends out to fancy restaurants?

"I'm too scared to say anything about it, because what if he doesn't mean it like that? And then it'll just be awkward. I'm scared of fucking up a friendship that means so much to me." He doesn't know what he would do if he lost Roman. 

"Janus," Logan sighs. "For someone so observant, you're incredibly blind. Roman has been trying to tell you he loves you for ages. I think you have an incredibly safe bet of not being rejected if you tell him how you feel. That being said, I'm getting tired, so would it be okay for me to leave now? Plus, Virgil's messaged me twenty-six times," he laughs nervously, prying himself from the couch.

"Best of luck with Roman."

"And the same to you and Virgil."


	6. Shattered Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hurt comfort chapter: warning for angst and referenced abuse. mostly comfort though.

Janus is over at Roman's place, intent on escaping his obnoxious roommates and maybe staring at Roman for a few hours. It's supposed to be a normal night, an evening like they've had hundreds before. Of course, the past has a way of changing that. 

A glass falls to the floor and Janus can't even register who knocked it over. Because suddenly his head is full of the sound of shattering glass, and _oh god, he's here and he's drunk and he's going to hurt me._ He can't breathe and the room's too large and he needs to get out of here and _hide._

"Jan? Janus? Can you hear me?" Roman calls worriedly, cleaning up the glass shards immediately pushed aside so he could talk to Janus. "Jan? You there? I- I'm sorry if I scared you," he cautiously puts a hand on Janus' shoulder, terrified and unsure of what to do. He looks at his friend, worry written all over his features. Was this his fault? God, he would hate for it to be, although he can't see any other explanation.

Janus jerks away from him, because he really can't handle touch right now, not when he can still hear the slamming doors and angry yells. His body feels uncoordinated and distant, like he's not really there.

He blinks, becoming aware of the tears that are apparently spilling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he chokes out, and he's not sure if it's directed at Roman, who's looking at him with such worry, or a person who isn't in the room and who never listened to his apologies anyway.

Is he having a panic attack? Roman thinks as he pulls his hand away with an apology. He's not entirely sure how to help with those, but when Virgil has one, he's seen what Logan and Patton do.

"Janus, it's me, it's Roman," he states, gentle yet firm. Tell him the facts so he knows where he is. "There's nobody here but you and me, you're sitting on my couch and you're not physically hurt." This is what Logan does. What else does he do? Right. "Open your eyes Jan, look where you are. You're in my dorm, and it's safe here, okay? Can you tell me some things you can see?"

Janus forces himself to listen to Roman, opening his eyes and looking around the room. He purposefully ignores the glass shard on the floor. "Table, couch, chair,... you," he rattles off as he digs his nails into his arm. His limbs slowly start to feel like his again and he takes a shaky breath.

 _You're safe,_ Roman's voice reassures him and he finds that he believes it. "I'm sorry," he says again, although he knows he shouldn't be apologizing. "I didn't mean to freak out."

"Jan, it's okay," Roman reassures gently, extending a hand but not touching Janus yet. It's to let him know that he's there, but not wanting him to get scared again. "We can talk about it if you like, but we don't have to. I just want to make sure you feel alright," he says gently.

His eyes flick over to the broken glass, but Janus is the priority right now. "I'll be right here with you until you're okay."

Janus reaches out to take Roman's hand and then just crashes fully into his chest. He wraps his arms firmly around his waist and tucks his head against his chest, content to stay there for a while, while Roman holds him tight and comforts him. This feels safe and Janus finds he can breathe again.

Eventually, when his heart has stopped beating erratically in his chest, he looks up at Roman. "Thank you," he whispers quietly, hoping he can convey all the love and gratitude he feels for Roman right now in that single sentence.

"You will always be welcome," Roman says, his words feeling heavier than usual as he cradles Janus' head to his chest, holding him tight and rocking him carefully.

"And you will always be safe, and loved, and you will always have me, I promise. No matter what it was that spooked you, the glass alone or something more, I will be here until you're okay, and even after that I will still be here," he murmurs, pressing a reassuring kiss to Janus' hair.

He speaks the words he means, but also the words he wishes he'd heard long ago. While his mother wasn't half as bad as Janus' father, he'd never felt loved in his childhood.

Perhaps they could change the facts for eachother.


	7. Gays Sharing Trauma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> same warning as prev. chapter.

Janus sits on the couch as Roman cleans up the glass shards. He counts along with his breaths as he rubs the palms of his hands against each other, faintly remembering the feeling of glass pricking into them. The scars have nearly faded by now and it brings Janus comfort that it was so long ago.

Roman sits down next to him and he leans against his shoulder, grateful for his presence. "I should probably explain," he says, because he wants Roman to know. He also kind of wants to shove those memories in a box and never look at them again but his therapist told him that's unhealthy.

"You can if you want to," Roman says, his voice low and gentle. He takes one of Janus' hands in his own and squeezes it softly. "But I won't force you to speak."

Janus gives him a fragile smile. "I know, I want to tell you," he says softly. "You make me feel safe."

"My parents divorced when I was five and I stayed with my mom most of the time. On holidays I would go to my dad," he takes a shaky breath. "He wasn't the best father. He would get really drunk and then..." Janus trails off. "The glass just reminded me of it, I guess." He curls up a bit closer to Roman, hiding his face in his shoulder.

Roman lays his head on top of Janus', rubbing his back. "Oh Jan, I'm so sorry. I'll be more careful around glass- maybe I could use a water bottle to lower the risk of shattered glass, or would that be too extra?"

Janus shakes his head. "No it's fine, but thank you. I've been learning to deal with it. Usually I don't panic like this but it took me by surprise."

He smiles up at Roman. "It all happened a long time ago, and I'm getting better at coping with it. I also have great friends who support me, so that helps a lot too." He doesn't think he would have been able to move forward as easily if he didn't have the others there to give him a hand. "Thank you for that."

"You're welcome Jan. I'd do anything for you, y'know," Roman says gently, and he stays with him.

He stays with Janus all day, just holding him in a way that makes both of their hearts do flips, and he resists the urge to kiss his hair and his face and his hand. They watch a movie in the evening, and Janus stays the night.

This leads to a little confusion for Janus. Platonic friends can hold eachother close, in one single bed, whispering encouragements until they fall asleep... Right?

He can ask that question later.


	8. Confession

Janus sits perched on the table, wearing one of Roman's sleep shirts. It's just slightly too big on him and he smiles as he looks at Roman bustling around in the kitchen. 

"You asked to kiss me once," he says idly, "At the party Remus organised. You told me to remind you." The memory comes back to him, a night of dancing and yearning and standing so close to Roman and never really touching him.

"You know what, I probably did," Roman smiles as he puts the bacon in the pan. "I'd still like to if you'd let me," he says calmly, turning to face Janus as their food begins to cook.

The mood in the room is calm, and nice, and open. Despite the topic, no-one feels too awkward, in fact, Roman's very much hoping this will lead a certain way.

Janus walks over to him, wraps his arms around Roman's waist. He looks up at him and thinks about all the days they spent together, all the touches and compliments and nicknames. Maybe Logan is right, in this case. He often is.

"I think, I've been an idiot," he says quietly. Before reaching up to gently cup Roman's jaw and press their lips together.

Roman smiles against Janus' lips, melting instantly as he finally receives what he's been wanting for all this time. He holds Janus' waist with one hand, the other carding through his messy bed hair, and he kisses back. It's gentle, and warm, and freeing, and all kinds of perfect, and Roman wishes with all his heart that this feeling never has to end.

And, as Janus pulls away carefully, his lips remaining close, the feeling fades a little, but the memory will last forever.

And they'll feel it many more times together, that blissful safety and joy they find in each other.

They'll keep it all their lives, and even as they age, that memory will never grow old.


End file.
